GENUINE DICKSUCKER
The Sky Is The Limit By 장동원
Anonymous asked:
Randy Pitchford in the hotseat again, got caught with kiddie porn, former vice president of gearbox confirms
yeah-yeah-beebiss-1 answered:
on one hand I hope the creep gets what’s coming to him (both for this and for all the people he’s defrauded over the years), but on the other hand, if i’m reading this correctly, your ask fails to mention how this whole saga and his rationale played out like an arrested development subplot
- the CEO of a major game developer keeps a whole bunch of highly confidential documents about transactions involving a number of big-name publishers (including a class-action lawsuit his company is facing after misleading consumers and embezzling funds for years) on a single thumb drive
- this thumb drive is also where he keeps his “barely-legal” porn
- he accidentally leaves this thumb drive in a medieval-themed novelty restaurant
- a random employee from said novelty restaurant stumbles across this thumb drive and rather than alerting the authorities or even attempting to exploit this extremely valuable business information for monetary gain, offers to return the thumb drive to gearbox in return for free games (poor bastard)
- randy pitchford is out of town at the time, just has him send the thumb drive to the studio
- randy pitchford’s former lawyer, in conflict with him over mutual claims of financial exploitation (randy arguing that the lawyer misused company money on fitness products and the lawyer arguing that randy’s side company pocketed millions of dollars meant for employee bonuses), attempts to intercept the thumb drive, at which point randy panics and attempts to get his employees to destroy it before he returns
- the employees decide to look at what the hell is on this thumb drive, and discover their boss’s taste in porn
- around this time, randy spends a bunch of time on some random podcast talking about how he was completely baffled by how this (probably underage) camgirl managed to fake squirting, as he has an interest in amateur stage magic
- he then claims that the only reason he kept it on his Important Corporate Thumb Drive is because he’s so baffled by this act that he wants to put the girl on the cover of a magician magazine he owns (which is a sentence in itself)
- this only comes to light because of small footnotes in an otherwise fairly dry lawsuit over the misplaced employee bonuses
- once this comes to light, the former vice-president of gearbox makes a cryptic tweet saying, “It’s true.”
like, i can just hear ron howard narrating all of this
Was Elrond in a gay marriage? We don’t know, because it’s none of our goddamn business. … No matter what Elrond got up to, it didn’t effect his ability to perform his job like a boss. And that is to provide travelers with great directions.
i love this man